Cristiano Ronaldo. What is there left to say after his lack of performance during Portugal’s loss to Spain just hours ago? First off, man up, step-up, and take the penalty kick.
Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t smoke because he’s indecisive. U smoke because it exemplifies freedom. U smoke because it represents winning. U smoke because your team just lost to Spain.
John quit smoking 20 years ago, but just got called a pussy for saying no.
John smokes because he never turns down a challenge. U smoke because you’d never say no to a cigarette.
How was I raised?
On the motto— “must be brown can’t be green self-rolled self-help.”
Sit down, stand up, relax, smile, and laugh. U smoke for the memories, and I smoke to you.
It’s a bonding thing that cannot be explained until you’ve experience it.
They smoke in honor of friendship. U smoke because you too enjoy friendship and the strength in male bonding.
Go forth and smoke my children. And that is exactly what Pope Benedict did.
Pope Benedict smokes because he is a man of God and so are U.
Like father like son. There’s only one thing his son lacks— an equally impressive mustache.
U smoke because your father does.
![His wife [a non-smoker] of 50 years told him to stop smoking because it was going to kill him. She died 17 years ago.
His secret to living long? The three S’s— scotch, smoking, and sex.
U smoke because you too want to live a long and fulfilling life. Fuck what your wife says.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5ipchf1gL1r8me0fo1_500.jpg)
His wife [a non-smoker] of 50 years told him to stop smoking because it was going to kill him. She died 17 years ago.
His secret to living long? The three S’s— scotch, smoking, and sex.
U smoke because you too want to live a long and fulfilling life. Fuck what your wife says.
“That soldier raped me! There…the man right there… he also stole my cigarettes.” -Inaccurate quote from Sadam Hussein
U smoke because you’re an American that hates Saddam Hussein.
He was the first American soldier to step foot on the ground during Iraqi Freedom.
“Private, smoking is bad for you and is known to cause cancer.” -News correspondent
“Fuck cancer. I just killed 19 terrorists and sodomized Sadam without a condom.” -Pvt.
U smoke because you respect our soldiers and you also say fuck cancer when someone says smoking is bad for you.
I retract my last statement.
Do not smoke if you look like this.
